Remain Nameless
by alice yvaine
Summary: Rose gets to tell her story about a life on the run, friendship, love, and loyalty - When an accident puts an abrupt end to her normal life, a friend of the family has mysterious plans for her. "I still hear you saying all of life is chance and is sweetest when at a glance. But I live a hundred lifetimes in a day, but I die a little with every breath that I take." Ben Harper
1. Intro

**Title: Remain Nameless**

**Author: **Alice Yvaine

**Disclaimer:** Based on the TV-series The Vampire Diaries (J. Plec/K. Williamson), might contain reference to and / or direct quotation of characters, places and basic story plot etc. No copyright infringement intended. The original characters and plot are however mine and are based on my understanding and interpretation of the stories presented in the original work.**  
Summary:** Rose gets to tell her story about a life on the run, friendship, love, and loyalty - When an accident puts an abrupt end to her normal life, a friend of the family has mysterious plans for her.

**Characters: **Rose, Trevor, Elijah, Original Characters, later also including S2 plot references. The "Bloody Mary" arc created in 3x19 - Heart of Darkness is altered.

**Rated**: T, notified if more, but I'm not overly visual.

**- Intro -**

I've always loved life, even though life in what we today call 'the dark ages' was anything but simple. One of my father's greatest values had always been to cherish life and to be grateful for what we had – always aware of the fact that good things came to you when you worked for them. He once told me that life was about chances, that we were given an opportunity, and that it was our task to make the best out of every situation we found ourselves in, for the better or for the worse. It was one of the things I always, always tried to remember, even centuries later.

The other thing I kept in my mind with every decision I made was the fierce loyalty my father had taught me. Family was sacred, and I would do anything to save those I regarded as my family, whether related by blood, or otherwise.

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that no matter how precious and sacred life is, it can change and take the most nightmarish turns. You never know exactly when a story begins, or when a dream turns into a nightmare.

You can always try to run and hope to wake up, but in the end you will find that the only way out is through.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"And though you may not be able to imagine what I was like, I did live. More importantly, I loved."  
[I wrote this for you – The future is the past waiting to happen]

I remember the exact date of my becoming a vampire because it was a month after my twenty-fifth birthday, shortly after the death of my mother. I was the oldest of three daughters - my two sisters, Viola and Marigold were two and four years younger than me, and the three of us were the pride of our loving parents. Come to riches thanks to an influential nobleman called Raoul, my father owned an estate south of London. This meant that we were a lot better off than many other families that age: we had property, money, and if not a title, my father at least had a good reputation and, especially in Raoul, very powerful friends. I knew my father had always secretly been suspicious, if not afraid, of the tall man with the flaxen hair and ice-blue eyes, but Raoul treated my family with the utmost respect - especially my sisters and me. From the moment I met Raoul for the first time, as a young girl, I instantly had a crush on him for the way he called me "Little Rose" and treated me like a real lady.

My childish infatuation with our benefactor lost its focus when I was introduced to his ward Maël, an impossibly handsome French boy with eyes so dark you couldn't distinguish his irises from the pupils. Without knowing what was happening to me I soon found myself drawn to the boy who couldn't be much more than two years my senior, but still seemed so much more educated and mature than the boys I knew from my home village.

When I was old enough, that is to say about sixteen, my father often took me to London where I attended all sorts of societies. I was introduced to different kind of people - businessmen, as you would call them today - and my father's many relations had taught me how to listen very closely and to pay attention to what people said, and how they took it. Most of all, it taught me how to read between the lines and to look beyond peoples' words in order to find out what they were really trying to communicate. My father had raised me to be sociable, and everybody thought me to be well-spoken. I was polite, but knew how to make a point - at least this was what I was told quite often.

Usually, there were several young women present, but I never really found the right connection amongst them. Their often shallow conversations bored me, and I believed that many of them thought I was too bold getting involved in also the gentlemen's conversations. But no matter who my father introduced me to, whenever Maël was present I didn't have eyes or ears for anybody else.

The boy I had first met when I was a fourteen year old girl had grown into a young man of exquisite taste and, of course, looks. Along with his former shyness, he had lost his French accent completely, and spoke with a velvety, resonant voice that completely lacked the flattering tone men usually adapted when talking to women. He was perfectly polite and charming without having to flatter anybody. And then there was a dark, secretive side about him that I found intriguing - a curiosity that, eventually, got things started that I so much later regretted.

As unknown and inexperienced as I might have been in these matters, I very soon understood that too much of his society might end up being dangerous for me. When my parents started pressing me on the matter, however, the sense of danger became more and more irresistible to me. Eventually, my father forbade any private contact and wouldn't let Maël out of his sight whenever he and Raoul visited our estate.

Even though we had never been romantically involved - or so I believed - Maël would sooner or later occupy my mind to an extend I was beginning to feel ashamed of: dreams I wasn't supposed to have, let alone understood, and feelings I couldn't have known about. I never told anyone, not even my sisters who also were my closest friends, but then again something always prevented me from sharing my feelings with anyone. Loving him - and I was young enough to believe I did - was a secret, and some dreamlike thought in my head made it a dark one.

I met other men, eventually, and by the time I was 19 I found myself away from my beloved home village, having left behind my family and living 200km far away from home, married to a man I loved cordially, but never, I realised later on, truly romantically. Maybe it was that I was too headstrong and impulsive for the soft-spoken, very intellectual man who loved me so dearly. I knew that Giles would do anything to make me happy, and it wasn't like I didn't appreciate his devotion, but in the few years of our marriage, I often felt I missed something. I felt guilty - after all, I was lucky to have married for love and friendship rather than profit. My mother assured me that I was still too young to really understand what being a wife meant, and that I would grow into it. But two years of marriage passed and we began to face problems nobody could have foreseen - I was denied my dearest wish to raise a family. I had hoped raising children would bring me closer to Giles, had, in fact all my life wanted to have children of my own, but even though we tried - for years, even - we weren't blessed with any.

Bitterly disappointed I distanced myself even more from my husband and began feeling increasingly lonely and homesick. With travelling being expensive the only times I could see my whole family was for Christmas. In the past years, both my sisters had got engaged and married: Viola, two years younger than I and soon turning 23, was married in Europe, while Mary, the youngest of us, had married a rather rich man from Scotland.

We wrote each other letters on a regular basis (one of the benefits of Raoul's had been our education in reading and writing when we were children), and I often poured out my heart, so I felt heartbroken when first Mary, then Viola told me they were expecting. And yet it was the message about the death of my mother that crushed my spirits entirely a while after my twenty-fifth birthday.

After a long and, on Giles's part, surprisingly heated discussion about whether or not we could afford to travel back to London in order to visit my family, it was decided that I was going to go there on my own.

I had always suspected Giles's and my story simply wasn't destined a happy ending, but I had never expected it to end tragically - for not only did I never arrive in my hometown, I also never saw my husband again after my departure.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Something which you take for granted will be gone soon. Start appreciating it. Right now. You don't have much time."

[I wrote this for you – The Missing]

I woke up to the dull sound of rain and a sharp pain in my head, with no recollection of where I was or how I had come here, and maybe that was what startled me into full consciousness. Somebody was by my side instantly, and a calm voice said, "There is absolutely no reason to be scared" - when I was too confused to be scared anyway. I opened my eyes, but the room seemed to start revolving around me instantly.

"Where am I?" I mumbled as I reached for my head, unsure whether it was the pain that make me sick or the dizziness.

"Not quite where you were headed to, I believe."

The man handed me a cup after filling it with wine and helped me sit up. "Drink this. The maid will bring you something to eat if you want. - By the way, I'm Trevor." He made a mock bow and shrugged, smiling again. I was sure it had been wine he had poured into the cup, but whatever it was, it didn't taste like pure wine. "Drink" He encouraged me. "It'll help the pain."

I lay back down again after I had emptied the cup, feeling slightly more light-headed than before. "What happened?" I asked, trying to remember. In addition to the pain in my head, my chest seemed to explode with pain every time I made a sudden movement or simply took a deep breath, and I closed my eyes for a moment, wincing.

In a calm voice Trevor told me that the carriage I had travelled in had had an accident. They had found it nearly completely destroyed way off the road, and had come too late for the driver and the other passenger. Me they had rescued. My head was swimming with questions - who was the "we" Trevor kept talking about, where had they found me, where was I now - and an irritated look passed over his face as he told me that he and 'a friend' had found me.

"Don't ask any more questions", he said then, his voice firm and his eyes fixed on mine. "Sorry" he added apologetically, and even though I was puzzled what he could mean, I was too tired to give it any further thought. I closed my eyes again, and this time I fell asleep in a matter of seconds, feeling surprisingly safe even though I had still no idea where I was.

When I woke up again it was because I heard voices outside the room, but I didn't understand anything at first. I was still drowsy and kept my eyes shot, trying to fall asleep again, but of course my mind grew more and more awake, and after a moment I could hear the voices clearly. One of them, calm but intent, reminded me of something - or someone - but I couldn't grasp of whom. The other one must belong to Trevor.

"... woke up a while ago" he said.

"How is our guest?" the familiar-but-not-quite voice asked.

"Confused. Injured. - Aimee gave her something for the pain" - Aimée... the name rang a bell, but just like with the other man's voice, I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Good, good. She's not one to scare easily. Keep her distracted anyway, I don't want to spoil the surprise..."

- And then a girl came into my room, dressed in the simple clothes I remembered from our childhood maid Eleanor. She seemed familiar for another reason I didn't know.

"Oh, you're awake" she said, "I hope the gentlemen didn't wake you up?"

She sat down a tray on the side table and opened the curtain as well as the window. Sunlight flooded the room, and the gush of fresh air felt good on my forehead. "I'm Aimée. - You must be Rosemarie? That's what it said on a note you had with you..."

"Please, call me Rose." I smiled weakly. "Did they take it... my luggage?"

"Just what you had on you, I'm afraid. Look, Miss, you do not need to be scared - it was a horrible night with your carriage robbed and the accident and everything. There were no idle intentions why you were brought here. We're just trying to help." Aimée explained.

"I don't remember much of last night, to be honest" - I did, in fact, remember a lot of noise and the carriage running off the street, but then we must have hit something, and since then I must have been unconscious.

"You were still in shock when you arrived, and it was decided it's best to let you sleep. Trevor told me you woke up earlier?"

"Yes, I ... must have been." I remembered, but only blurrily.

Aimée smiled and offered me something to eat. "It's just a little bread and something to drink, but it will help you feel better."

I sat up gingerly and took the tray. Aimée was right, eating did make me feel better. The herbal tea tasted a lot better than the water Trevor had given me in the night, and eating the bread made me realise how hungry I had been before. Soon my dizziness faded away and even my headache was getting better - only that feeling a little recovered also brought back my memory.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, anything you want" Aimée smiled. "Are you done? Let me take the tray, you should lie down again."

I nodded thankfully, trying to do as I was told, but the pain in my ribcage made me wince again. I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore the pain.

"It's silly, but have we met before?" I finally managed to ask, but just when I had finished the question there was a knock on the door.

"May I?" Aimée asked, and opened the door when I nodded. It was Trevor.

"May I come in?" he asked, and I nodded again, faintly. My question remained unanswered. "Good, so our shipwrecked one is back to life again?" He said with a grin, but then instantly frowned and blinked as if blinded by the sunlight.

Aimée rushed to the window and pulled the curtain, closing it halfway. Trevor stepped into the shadow and then stood with his back to the window, smiling at me again. "Maybe not exactly shipwrecked - but are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine" I lied instantly. My head was better, yes, but after sitting up and lying down again and the pain it created I began to feel as if every bone in my body was broken.

"I can see that" Trevor said with an amused, but sympathetic tone in his voice. "You hit your head pretty hard, and you broke a rib. Two, actually."

"How would you know that, are you a doctor?" - That came out a lot more unfriendly than intended, but the pain was beginning to make me cranky. Trevor just shrugged and smiled.

"Well, it might seem inappropriate, but we checked when we found you."

"Look" I sighed, "I really appreciate your concern, and your hospitality even more, but I really need to get to London as soon as possible."

"You already are in London."

"What?" I made a quick movement, trying to sit up in a rush, and white-hot pain exploded inside me, immediately bringing tears to my eyes. Trevor was by my side in an instant, and carefully but firmly made me lay back down again.

"You're fine, eh? You might want to be a little more careful than that, don't you think?"

I made a face as he held my shoulder to make sure I wouldn't sit up again. It was a comforting gesture, though, and he even brushed my thumb over my arm.

"I'm sorry for that" he said.

"What for? Me being stupid or for not telling me where I was right away?" I asked, and Trevor chuckled.

"For both." He let go of my arm and, eyes closed, I tried to focus on breathing, hoping it would subdue the pain. Despite that, and the shock of finding out that I had practically reached my destination, I realised how calm I was. Whatever it was, it kept me from questioning their intentions, and both Trevor and Aimée seemed to genuinely want to help me. And then I was just way too exhausted to question anything...

"So, London was where you were headed?" Trevor asked when I opened my eyes again.

"London was the place my money sufficed to get to... I have to get to my family in ..." - something stopped me from giving away my hometown. He was a stranger after all. "...they live 20 kilometres from here."

"That's worth another half day's journey."

I sighed. "I know. But I can't stay here, I have to get there before ... I just have to get there, you have to let me go!" I pleaded. Thinking of home made me think of the purpose of my journey, and sorrow struck me.

"Hey" Trevor's hand was at my shoulder again. "Everything is going to be fine" he said calmly. "You will be fine. You have to trust me with that, okay?"

I nodded carefully, feeling dizzy and confused again. "At least tell me where I am" I said weakly. Even though I felt my sudden panic ebb away, I was still overwhelmed with emotion.

Trevor seemed to take a deep breath. He looked away from me for a moment, fixing his eyes on a point in the room that wasn't really there.

"Would it help you to know that you've been here before?" he said finally. His voice was distant now, guarded.

"...what?"

"Just when I came in you recognised Aimée, didn't you?"

"What... how ... what are you talking about? I don't know where I am! I'm not even sure what happened!"

"Calm down." He interrupted. "Think about what brought you here."

I didn't know what to do - whether I should laugh or cry. I was confused, so confused and yet I couldn't be scared. My thoughts were racing through my mind and I couldn't grasp a single one. Think about what brought me here... the letter, my mother's dead, the fight with Giles, it all seemed lives away. I thought Trevor had said something, but the words didn't seem to get through. It was like something had opened a gate in my mind, and now memories and emotions came flowing in.

The letter. - Suddenly I did remember. I remembered that I had in fact met Aimée before, remembered the voice from the conversation I had overheard earlier.

"Raoul" was all I could say at first. "Raoul was the one who sent the letter. - Is he here?"

Trevor looked away again, his shoulders slightly hunched. He didn't answer.

"I have to talk to him. Please, let me talk to him. My mother ... he must know... please..." I finally started to cry - for the loss of my mother which I finally remembered, but also for the relief of not being in a stranger's house, of knowing someone was here who would understand and take me home.

"I'm so sorry" I heard Trevor whisper next as he bent down towards me, saying something else, something I had forgotten a second later. Half asleep, I still heard him call for Aimée as he left the room, telling her to give me something, something I should at least have on me, and then I drifted back into sleep.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"The time is near. The world will change. You need to be ready. Soon."  
[I wrote this for you]

Aimée always kept my company during daytime, tending to my injuries and always making sure I would drink the teas and potions she made for me. I also had a glass of wine each afternoon and before going to bed, the same that Trevor had given me on my first night. The wine had a strange, iron-like taste that seemed to become more and more prominent with every time I had to drink it. "It's for the pain", Aimée kept reassuring me, and miraculously, it worked. Some of the minor injuries, like bruises and scratches, seemed to have healed already, and even the headaches and the pain in my chest were getting gradually better. I was still bound to my room, but soon I could move painlessly and I even managed to sit up and stand next to the bed.

Aimée had encouraged me to write to my family, letting them know that I was in a safe place and that I would be able to come and see them as soon as I was fully recovered, and as soon as I was able to get up and walk a few steps I sat down at the little table and started writing. I wrote about my journey and the accident, and about how Trevor and Aimée's hospitality impressed me and how much they helped my recovery. After I had finished the letter to my father, I also wrote to Giles, who I had left in a rush and, to make matters worse, in a fight. Writing made me emotional, and I felt raw and exposed, but I wasn't alone for a long time and didn't have the time to be sad.

Every evening after sunset there would be a knock at my door and Trevor came to keep me company. He would stand by the window, leaning casually against the wall, or, after a few days, would sit down not on the chair but on the table instead, chatting away, filling me in about whatever he'd heard in the city. A group of girls was accused of witchcraft, he told me one night. A couple of nights later, he gave a detailed description about the trial and said they were going to be executed. When he attempted to tell me about their public execution on the third night I stopped him, and he changed the subject with a laugh. He never talked about himself, nor did he ask me any questions other than about my wellbeing. Whenever I pressed him about Raoul, however, he changed the subject, ever so often looking grim for an instant, just before he would reassure me I would see the head of the house as soon as he returned. Trevor was easy to trust. I knew that as I married woman I had no right to engage in long conversations with any other man than my own, but Trevor never seemed to have anything but friendly intentions. He was easy to like, even when something about him always seemed as if he was in a hurry, with his hair usually dishevelled or his habit of never really sitting still, but he was always polite and humorous.

That night - after I had written the letters - it was Trevor who found the envelopes on the table. He looked at them for a very long time. "It's always hard to be separated from the people you love", he said, his voice as serious as I had never heard it before. "Sometimes it's necessary, though" he added, and I didn't know how to reply.

"I promise the letters will reach your family in the shortest time possible", Trevor said, quickly filling the dawning silence.

"Thank you." I forced myself to smile.

"There's something else, though." He said then. He hopped from the table and pulled the chair next to my bed and sat down again. I was surprised and also a little nervous about what he was going to do know, but he grinned as he took my hand. "Don't worry, I know you're technically married!"

I wanted to say something, but he didn't let me. "Something tells me it wasn't quite worth everything you got yourself into, though."

I protested, but he laughed as he closed a bracelet around my wrist.

"Plus you don't have to worry about anything with me. - Aimée had this made, and you should wear it for your protection" He declared, and finally let me speak.

"I thought I wasn't in any danger." I said when I should have thanked him. But Trevor smiled. "No," he said as he shrugged, "But I'm prone to acting before thinking and you don't want to get me into trouble, do you?"

"What are you talking about?" I inquired, suddenly alert, but Trevor's laugh washed away my doubts instantly.

"Look, just see it as a good luck charm, okay? Something tells me you need it if you want to go see your family!"

"Do you mean..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. - Would I be able to go home?

"Soon enough." He said, as if having read my thoughts. "Well now, you haven't even looked at it!"

He was right about that. Aimée's gift - or was it his, really? - was simple, but beautiful: it was a delicate leather bracelet with a medallion-like pendant that looked like a rose. "It's beautiful" I said truthfully. "Thank you!"

"Remember to thank Aimée for it, she was the one who chose it." Trevor said with a smile. "You're welcome."

That night, I went to bed full of hope - what if my miraculous recovery had proceeded far enough? Was I really going to see my family soon? And then I had to admit that the gift flattered me, even though Trevor had been so completely natural about it. There had been no room for awkwardness or even second thoughts, and yet the end I fell asleep with a smile on my face, feeling happier than I had felt in days, or weeks, maybe.

But my high spirits didn't last. Trevor didn't come to see me the next night, nor did he come the night after that, and on the third night I was beginning to feel like a complete fool. Who did I even think I was, waiting for another man's visit and, worse, taking gifts as if I wasn't a married woman? I might have found a friend, someone who helped me in need, but as friendly as his intentions might have been, I couldn't possibly hold on to his gift. What did it even mean - a rose pendant as a good luck charm, to match my name? And so I took it off and put it next to me on the bedside table before I went to bed that night. Curiously, it was gone when I woke up the next morning, but something else had changed, too.


End file.
